put your teenager in the meadow and watch him

Motherhood is daunting. No matter how many coats of denial and idealism one whitewashes it with, it is a formidable journey and it is not always easy to stay convinced of the delightfulness of the upbringing and management of the fruits of our genetic entanglements. Life is up and down, and take-it-as-it-comes, and full of […]

dénouement: the lonely sea

The flyer reads “Celebration of life”. The young caseworker who knew Werner’s father briefly at the end of his life is in charge of this event. On the phone beforehand, she tells me she has only worked here for a short time, and before this, she says, she worked with teenagers, so this is new […]

choosing to do wrong, and failing to do good…

Most of us have a youthful time in our lives that we look back upon fondly, even if it was fleeting or fraught. This period in our life is often characterized by experimentation, falling in love, creativity, or travel, but mostly by a sense of unbridled freedom and a feeling of endless possibility. This time […]

what you sow

Yesterday my partner Werner and I visited the small apartment where we are told his father has lived for the past four years. Werner’s uncle called a week ago to tell him that the medical examiner’s office was looking for him because his father had died. Werner was apparently the only known next of kin. […]

The tide rises, the tide falls: telling stories of a father who is gone.

There’s a story a man has told for most of his life. He has changed the story to suit himself as he’s grown older and wiser and gained life experience. He knows the story intimately, yet he doesn’t really know it at all. While he believes in his story, he is aware that it could […]

Hey boys! Wanna do something nice for yer lady…?

…or your man, as the case may be?  I have some great ideas.  This post is inspired by my magnificent friend Le Clown over at A Clown on Fire who enlisted my help with Bloggers for Movember.  And since I am, like his beautiful wife Sara who blogs at Laments and Lullabies, a procrastinator, here is my 11th-hour Movember men’s health […]

A variation on The Golden Rule: “Do unto yourself as you would have yourself do unto others”

I’ve had a lot of “duh!” moments throughout my life, where suddenly, the veil is lifted, and a seemingly simple truth I’ve heard many times is revealed to me like never before. Sometimes it’s a big concept, and sometimes it’s just something small my mother told me years ago that I could’ve heeded and spared myself some trouble.  While it’s always gratifying to have […]

You can leave, but you have to take yourself with you.

When my first-born son was in fifth grade, he began having major issues with the idea of going to school every day. He made it through that school year which was not coincidentally a time of challenge for our family. His sixth grade year got off to a rocky start and continued along that trajectory for the duration of the school year, and he begged his father […]

The girl and and the tree of protection and favors.

Once upon a time, there was a girl who lived in a wooden castle on a quiet street which was named for the tree of protection and favors. There in the castle on that street, she and her prince made a home where they could raise their two children. Soon they brought a third baby to their castle, a big-cheeked, round-eyed, fuzzy-headed object of love, and he found his […]

Struggling with last week’s murder, and helping my children cope…

Several days ago I wrote about how my children witnessed the aftermath of a shooting in our neighborhood.  If you want to read about it, you can click here.  My kids are processing their feelings about it in different ways.  My 17-year-old daughter had horrible nightmares a few nights ago.  She dreamt about stepping over bodies after a massacre at a […]